Trial of humanity ..... not edited

 You left no trace to be followed
none but the gravity of your heart
and the ephemeral essence of your fragrence

running but where can you hide
you cannot escape the hands that once held you by my side

i asked you why are you running away
you answered my heart is not where it belogs
i run trying to catch up with it

you know your crimes,you know your sins
you cannot escape your destiny

Now you shall be judged by a jury of your peers
Made of those you hurt and those who cried rivers of tears

The pride you've lost, after being owned by the world you should be owning
working for your right and not with it
abandoning all that you ever wanted for what you never needed

Today i will defend myself against ur accusation
you said isnt that what life gave me,isnt that where i was lead to be
i had to struggle alone through it all ,handeled the concequence abd took the toll

but wasn't that part of your sin
she's been there for you and you didnt see it

The jury has decided, the judge mutters the word "decease"
Trial of humanity, the defense rests in peace
 

first of all congratulations to maryam and ahmed, hearing that things are going well with the two of you only add to the reasons why i should be happy even if i am not...... i got a call this morning from our college's mechatronics department asking me to contribute with their team for robocon this year.... ironic enough i will get paid to just aid with my expertise .... and supervise work being done

also my project has been passed on to the head of the department , it's been classified as advanced project, my work for a prototype was approved and an optimum control course will be in progress

not many would understand what this means to me but it's like getting to do something you really like with someone you admire and learn something completely new that you wanted to know while being appreciated for it ..... it's perhaps the best thing i ever got to have ever since i joined this college.

also a friend of mine shams eldeen got engaged , and my sister is having an interview today in a company that she likes even if her odds are little because they only look for one position and there are many applicants but i hope she gets it ... she got throught the primary screening ^^ thats my sister....

i was also contacted by Najlaa elebyary who promised to help me out finding multiple journalism related places to work....she was cooperative and more than happy to help out with my search


but how fortunate can i get, i wasnt able to share any of those news with the one i wanted to share it with ... probably she'll be reading it through this blog which really makes me pathetic
i am just gonna skip those two days.... deal with all those news above as some usual thing because really i dont feel happy at all about them... perhaps i hope they never happened because then i wouldnt have been too excited about them when they happened

today was really good at the beginning but not anymore, i feel really annoyed and down.....

 Since Yesterday I've been a little ill, but somehow waking up today i felt like working, wanting to go forward so that I'd finish college as fast and efficient as i possibly can, doing so I ended up working for two or three hours then being too ill i sleep for an hour or two then I wake up and study again...doing so over and over until it was time to eat,I guess those days, the one after Ramadan are the ones that really give you the true meaning of fasting, you begin to see wisdom in doing that fasting and i guess it will be my ritual for meditation and clearing my mind every now and then.......

I want to make sure that I don't forget what is important at the moment ,or that will come in the next moment..for that reason i am working harder than ever, for the moment to come after so that i wouldn't be a child or even an adult with no sense of responsibility, I want to go ask for the privilege of being with the one I love from her parents as i am proud and worthy, not just that .... it's not about being not good enough because frankly I think I am but because I am I should be responsible enough to support a family, I will work for the sake of being who I am and for the sake of being useful in this world so that I may meet Allah as he is pleased with me, and so that I would be with the one I want to see happy the most and make her happy being someone that not only her but her trust ones can count on.

I wont stop,I don't know the future but I have faith in Allah (swt) and so I will walk to the future happy with the outcome.After I do all I have to do with all my might.

Eid fetr mubarak, the events

This year things have been going on differently, showing different sides weather on the inside or on the outside...... somethings that were never mentioned were mentioned,somethings that were never made were made....and all together i'd say it's the begining of something i intend to finish.

starting with the briefing of the fun news 

- my mother decided to make the "ka7k" at home this year for the first time in her life.... and it was pretty sucessful,actually i dont remember eating "ka7k" that tastes that good before

-unlike every year having the first days in ramadan the most special days.... this year the last days of ramadan has been the special days...ones i'd probably remember for the rest of my life as a special ramadan....
 
with that being said =) well i'd like to declare one thing... for the second time in my life i can say from the bottom of my heart, with all the faith in the world... i am blessed by Allah (swt) more than perhaps all the people in the world... weather it is for the chances that Allah give me, or with all the blessings of being able to see what people cant see, hear the sound of my heart or being with someone i am determined to stay with ba3d ezn Allah...... i am happy and i can say that i am blessed because my work is something that i love and cherish....and my friends, the ones that are still out there and the ones right here... and the ones who moved on and got engaged or the ones who passed on or passed away...all together,wherever they are whatever they are doing had a time when we were,still together
and most of all god blessed me with all the levels of love within me, and blessed me with a person so special to shine my life and guide me to that second chance...that second time i am told, you can be happy.

as for the future plans, well i will work this moment for the next, and the next moment for the one after,and for every moment, i will be happy isA doing what i like, and be isA with the one i love,my future plans are not something beyond me but something i know i can take..... not because of my strength or brains or anything that selfish...but becayse of the strength god gave me and the support of the person i need to support me among the humans....so i thank Allah for it all..... for my parents loving that person i love, for Allah giving me that person to love, for all those blessings and times when i thought everything is over but Allah kept me going on till i reached this place i am in now.... may Allah give me the strength i need to go on.... and perhaps to some of those who read think is this out of weakness.... well actually it is ...but that is a weakness i am proud of, i am not weak or in need to any other human or creature no matter how great they are or how blessed they are... i will only be weak to my god and i will only live with my head held up high,proud of being the person i am..with the people i am with.... not above them or below them...not better than people or worse....only living with them and among them...loving  them and caring for them....and never letting those i love out of my hands....not suffocating them nor staying away....but being there able to let the shadows of our hands that extent from out hearts connect.... in the moon light or in the presence of the sun....shining more than our own souls.... All thanks to Allah. for letting us be alive long enough to see and love and hear and most of all smile