Into the past and the future

The past did not lead to the present , but rather the present caused the past. its because we are alive now that we will remember the days spent .

Just like the waves come to the shore and go back into the ocean. our present moves through our consciousness and back to our memories . We are but a large pool of thoughts associated with actions. You will never recall it all but its alright because your body remembers it all.

philosophy in a cup of tea

You live your life by people who barely understand you or never really do. This is an inevitable part of life. the base sentiment of human life is based on the fact that no one really understand the other. The best that they can do is imagine how they would feel like if they were in your shoes . That means that they subject your emotion to rationalized thinking, and perhaps that is why most of the times people dont really get it right. Compassion cannot be measured in terms of logic. and the science of muscles will never let you understand the reason behind an empty smile. a smile on the outside that tells everyone that everything is fine while you hurt like crazy on the inside. I wish that i could live all alone so I could stop thinking, I wish I would seize to exist .

The purpose of life, my life

Everyone live their life for a reason, I believe that we've lived it all before , and forgot it all. If that is the case then I am dedicating my life to that one concept , remembering , making every cell of my body remember how it should be , making the specs of my soul remember their strength , I've decided long ago that all i ever need to do is to remember , along with others or on my own , I will remember everything I've locked away. 

The fragility of a human soul

Hugging is the physical equivalent of holding on to someone, so my advice to you if you want to get married or if you have doubts if you are in love with a certain person is this. think of yourself in your most vulnerable moments , when you are leaving somewhere , forgetting someone, or closing our a chapter in your life , now think about how much you want to hold that person, the longer you want to keep the hug and tighten it , that is how much you need that person in your life .

Humans are very fragile creatures even if they pretend to be otherwise , we cry easily and feel the pain even more easy. But just as much we can cling to small things . In a goodbye , when you know everyone will have to walk a different path or even opposites , when you know you cannot be with that person or see them for a very long time . all you really wish for is to see them look back to you while walking away once , even a hesitant look would suffice. It will get you warm and comfort you, it will make you know that when you are closing out this chapter of your life , someone still has a copy of that page , you did not read it alone, it wasn't a dream, it was not an illusion, even if the whole world did not believe it , it still held meaning. 

just watched paper towns, i think its so true it hurts. Time did pass me by and i never realized its not coming back. I still remember in the distance the feelings I've had and the memories I've shared. I still remember putting my days vs nights , living to the fullest and having a laugh from the heart . I still remember Nelly , still breathing . I vaguely remember the first time i told a girl i liked her on her birthday while giving her the guitar she always wanted.

Its been a life worth living, and perhaps I still want to live it once more, a job is not supposed to restrain you , its supposed to empower you and energize you. Thats probably why  I am thinking I would leave my so called success behind and start finding something that makes me feel alive once more . Perhaps its a journey that I have to take 

There's nothing more beautiful than being alive , and nothing more terrifying than discovering new sensations that you've never experienced before . Today I escaped the truth of myself , today i marked myself as a coward trying to redeem a dead part of his soul. A coward beyond redemption. Am I really accepting myself to be cursed .

Authenticity is different from being a narcissist . Its not okay to think that leading your own dreams by destruction.